hold on (and hold on tightly)
by finnnorgana
Summary: it's hard for them to believe, honestly - that he's really here. they check on him, sometimes. sorikai, post kh3


whattup from the other side of thanksgiving!

cranked this out literally today, in between cooking a shit ton of food. and now we're here! this short little thing. I've been wanting to write SOMETHING that wasn't academic, so here I am, on break, doing my best.

takes place after the first two installments in the series, so read those first if you haven't!

title from drowning man by u2 'cause I was listening to it while uploading this

unbeta'd! all that stuff! okay enjoy!

* * *

Three months after – after coming home, after waking up, after _everything_ – Sora is awakened by the sound of someone climbing through his window. He wasn't worried – that was the whole reason he always kept his window open, anyway – and he rolled over with a soft sigh, prying his eyes open to see who snuck in.

When he saw Riku at the foot of his bed, kicking off his sandals, jacket zipped halfway up his chest, he sat up, rubbing at one of his eyes. "Riku?" he mumbled, watching the other boy stumble a little, startled, "what is it? Are you okay?"

"A-ah. Yeah. Yeah, I – I just –"

Even in the moonlight, Sora could see the deep blush spreading across Riku's face as he shuffled in place, embarrassed. "It's kinda stupid…" he mumbled, eyes drifting off to the side, "I'll just – sorry I woke you up, I –"

"Riku." Sora was a little more awake, now, and he leaned back against his pillows, eyes alert. "It's not stupid if it brought you here. What is it?"

"I just –" he grasped at his elbow, suddenly so shy, "I just wanted to – to check. I just wanted to make sure."

Sora's still – tender heart melted in his chest, and he sunk further into his pillows with a sigh, lips quirked up into a tiny smile.

This has been – a _thing_, for a while. Since he woke up. Being woken up by someone climbing in through his window, by his parents cracking open the door to his room in the middle of the night, by an occasional midnight text from Roxas on his new gummiphone.

Just checking. Just making sure.

He can't begrudge them of it – even now he still has to remind himself that this is real. That he was found, that he was home.

"Riku," he said, so fond, "that's not stupid at all. It's okay. Come on."

Sora flipped the blankets back, scooting over so that Riku had enough room to lie down, and huffed a laugh as he practically melted with gratitude, taking his jacket off and setting it aside before clambering into bed.

As Riku settled into the mound of pillows with a gusty sigh, Sora folded the blankets back over them, snuggling back into the bed and scooting until he was nose- to -nose with him, enjoying the way the moonlight shined in his eyes.

They didn't say anything, for a while, perfectly content with just staring at each other, taking each other in.

Just checking. Just making sure.

But when Riku's eyes started to flutter closed, drowsiness heavy in them, Sora had to speak.

"It's really not stupid, Riku." He said again, just to stress how perfectly _okay_ it was, "I – I still have to remind myself sometimes, too, so. It's fine."

The past year was – horrible. Terrifying. So, so lonely. How could that be fixed in just a few months?

"I just feel bad for waking you up," Riku mumbled, and he squirmed a little closer, slipping a hand under Sora's sleep shirt to feel his skin, to ground himself in the warmth of him. Sora hummed at the feel of Riku's hand, curled against his side, "you can wake me up as many times as you need to," he reassured him. He brushed Riku's silvery bangs away from his face, only to have them tumble back into place, making him laugh a little.

"I promise," he said, just like he did on that day on the beach, just as he has almost every day since, "I won't go far. Never again. Not without you or Kairi, remember? I'm staying."

He'll say it a million times, a thousand – prove it every day with every action until the doubt is gone, until the caution clears away from Riku's eyes.

"I know." Riku said, his voice so soft, so tired, "I know."

Sighing, he turned his face into the pillow, burrowing further into the blankets. "…Sora." He mumbled, already beginning to doze off.

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

His eyes fluttered closed, lips still parted in a sigh, and between one breath and the next, Riku was asleep, finally reassured.

Sora took a little while to go back to sleep himself, spending some time running a hand through Riku's hair, eyes dancing across his face, committing that peaceful expression to memory. Riku's hand, still curled around his side, twitched in sleep, and his fingers pressed against his skin for a moment, seeking out the calm beat of his heart.

"…Love you, too."

Scooting further into Riku's space, Sora pressed a small kiss between his brow, smoothing out the little concerned wrinkle that was sticking around. Content, Sora tucked himself under Riku's chin, and let himself fall asleep now that that stress had finally been smoothed away, lulled into sweet dreams by the heart gently beating beneath his ear.

-o-

The next time Sora was awakened in the middle of the night, Kairi was already in his bed.

He wasn't too surprised by it – Kairi is the sneakiest out of the three of them, light on her feet and happy to use that to her advantage. So when he rolled over to face his window she was already there, staring at him, curled up into a small ball beneath the blankets.

"Kairi?" He mumbled sleepily, "what are you doing here?"

She said nothing and just stared at him, hardly blinking; her hands were laced so tightly together that her knuckles were white.

She looked so _tired_, violet eyes ringed with red, and Sora's heart ached at the sight of her. "Is everything alright?" he asked gently, slowly moving into her space. "Are you okay?"

He reached out to her, the tips of his fingers gently touching her arm, and that seemed to bring Kairi back to earth as she exhaled shakily, biting at her lip. "I just –"

Kairi shuddered a little, and her knuckles whitened even more as her grip tightened, "I just – I needed to check. I just wanted to remind myself."

She looked like she was about to cry, and if she cried then Sora would _definitely_ cry with her – so he covered Kairi's hands with his own, slowly prying them apart so he could lace their fingers together.

"Did you have a bad dream?" He asked quietly, and Kairi shook her head. "Not a dream. More like – like bad memories, really."

Sora couldn't help the sympathetic wince; he could definitely relate with being plagued with bad memories, and they've had more than enough to haunt them.

Kairi was still talking, "it was just – it was that day, again, when you – when you –"

She choked on the word – she couldn't even say it. Couldn't bear it.

Her eyes shined with unshed tears, but she was determined for them to not fall, still so tired of crying. "So – so, I came here. Just to check. I needed to remind myself that this is real – that I really was able to bring you home, just like I hoped."

Sora let go of her hands, then, to curl his arms around her waist, pulling her close so he could press his ear against her chest, listening to her heartbeat. "Yeah," he said quietly, "you did it. I always knew you would – I never doubted."

"But _I_ did." Kairi's fingers found their way into his hair, and she cradled him closer, pressing her cheek against the crown of his head. "_I_ doubted. I couldn't even keep you safe – I promised. Before the war, I _promised_. And I couldn't even do that. How would I be able bring you home?"

One of Sora's hands eventually found its way beneath her nightshirt, and the pads of his fingers brushed against the edge of the scar on Kairi's back; he still remembers when he saw the scar in its entirety – how he cried and cried, apologizing over and over.

He uses it to ground himself, now – feels the warmth of her and the soft rhythm of her heart against his cheek.

"Kairi, you're amazing. You always have been – _always_." He sighed as she combed her fingers through his hair, "I never doubted you. Not for one second."

Kairi sniffled but said nothing, combing her fingers through his hair over and over; the motion was so soothing it almost sent Sora back to sleep.

"Sora?"

"Mmm?" He hummed, determinedly forcing himself awake and giving Kairi a squeeze to let her know he was listening.

"…you're here? It's not a dream?" Her voice was so small, unsure, and it made his heart ache.

"I'm here." He promised, and she somehow cradled his head even closer.

"You'll stay?"

"Always. I won't leave you again, I promise."

He could feel Kairi's muscles relax under his hands, and she sighed into his hair. "…I'm sorry I woke you up," she mumbled, a little sulky, "I'm sorry I keep waking you up."

"It's okay. I told Riku, too – you can wake me up as many times as you need to. It's fine – sometimes I need the reminder, too."

Kairi was still embarrassed, somewhat, and she buried her face in his hair with a groan. "It still feels really dumb."

"It's _not_," Sora stressed with a light laugh, "Kairi, it's not dumb. Isn't that why we leave our windows open? So we can see each other whenever we want, whenever we need to? Look – do you feel better now, coming here?"

"…Yes," she finally admitted grudgingly, giving him a squeeze.

"And do you think you'll be able to sleep now? No bad dreams?"

"No bad dreams," she sighed, agreeing, and Sora ran a loving hand across her back with a smile. "You can sleep, Kairi. I promised – I'll be right here when you wake up, and every day after that. I'll be here. Okay?"

"Okay…" Kairi relaxed further beneath the blankets, starting to give in to the irresistible urge to sleep, "m'kay, Sora. Thank you."

Sora wished he could spend a while, watching Kairi sleep, smoothing away any lingering stress or worry so nothing could haunt her dreams. But held as he was, this would have to be enough; he rubbed her back, listening to her slow, deep breathing. Closed his own eyes as he drowsily began to breathe in time with her.

Drifted off to the soft beat of her heart against his cheek.

He sleeps. He dreams in peace.

* * *

whew. felt good to write a little something for fun.

comments and the like are sooooo loved. I'm spacebeyonce on tumblr and uhhhhh yeah! that's all I got!

until next time!


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